so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
What a dumb baby whore.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
