Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
