if you like me you must not know who I am
You're completely useless in the revolution.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
