Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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