Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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