1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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