So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
