woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
