Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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