Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.