I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.