So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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