Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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