god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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