My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
COCAINE IS GR8
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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