Having a random hookup so left but love u
kristin has been a bad kristin
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
