thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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