remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.