it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
