Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative