Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.

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  (410): she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby. http://tfl.nu/u78i
  Replies (55) Good night (930) Bad night (6704)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.

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  (301): Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on. http://tfl.nu/5vnb
  Replies (20) Good night (3750) Bad night (565)
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  (661): View more from California

  Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds

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  (661): Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds http://tfl.nu/3651
  Replies (13) Good night (6533) Bad night (878)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.

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  (612): only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday. http://tfl.nu/1ia2
  Replies (82) Good night (1295) Bad night (4834)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead

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  (304): Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead http://tfl.nu/8a8b
  Replies (25) Good night (4733) Bad night (1746)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?

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  (915): do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/mens
  Replies (13) Good night (3024) Bad night (1060)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.

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  (702): We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9xyn
  Replies (13) Good night (932) Bad night (2485)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out

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  (757): I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures... (757): I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out http://tfl.nu/xej3
  Replies (6) Good night (2482) Bad night (770)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just arrived at our party

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  (708): Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis (773): Just arrived at our party http://tfl.nu/7hao
  Replies (18) Good night (3922) Bad night (884)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.

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  (202): I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning. http://tfl.nu/sdft
  Replies (3) Good night (1170) Bad night (630)
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  (718): View more from New York

  door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.

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  (718): door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him. http://tfl.nu/edbn
  Replies (0) Good night (1033) Bad night (483)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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  (443): You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are. http://tfl.nu/njd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1492) Bad night (583)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent

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  (623): this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent http://tfl.nu/zc3d
  Replies (6) Good night (524) Bad night (1036)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....

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  (843): Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom..... http://tfl.nu/jt5r
  Replies (3) Good night (588) Bad night (417)
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  (+70): View more from

  I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship

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  (+70): I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship http://tfl.nu/jy6u
  Replies (1) Good night (666) Bad night (303)

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