Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...

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  (618): here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco... http://tfl.nu/ll6l
  Replies (37) Good night (3651) Bad night (951)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure

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  (915): i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure http://tfl.nu/p6xi
  Replies (22) Good night (3518) Bad night (1579)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
  Replies (37) Good night (5547) Bad night (2084)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..

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  (732): just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german.. http://tfl.nu/y195
  Replies (32) Good night (5586) Bad night (784)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  where are you?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  sonic

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.

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  (404): where are you? (1-404): sonic (404): Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs. http://tfl.nu/pjgu
  Replies (25) Good night (5141) Bad night (604)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy

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  (602): I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy http://tfl.nu/rk38
  Replies (16) Good night (6487) Bad night (1082)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you

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  (712): I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you http://tfl.nu/qvrh
  Replies (21) Good night (2933) Bad night (1369)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  it's a Wednesday?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  :)

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  (419): I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone. (1-419): it's a Wednesday? (419): :) http://tfl.nu/grqr
  Replies (4) Good night (3099) Bad night (900)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass

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  (541): definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass http://tfl.nu/ukpo
  Replies (6) Good night (1559) Bad night (702)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..

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  (832): I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something.. http://tfl.nu/p35d
  Replies (6) Good night (1908) Bad night (484)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?

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  (217): Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit. (309): Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed? http://tfl.nu/sacc
  Replies (3) Good night (852) Bad night (442)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.

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  (907): I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places. http://tfl.nu/na1m
  Replies (2) Good night (342) Bad night (679)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.

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  (330): The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk. http://tfl.nu/09ej
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (267)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick

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  (515): Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/oet2
  Replies (3) Good night (625) Bad night (279)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam

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  (402): I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam http://tfl.nu/zq91
  Replies (3) Good night (176) Bad night (545)

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