i can't believe i had my finger in that
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
