Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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