i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
