Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
no you cant smoke seaweed
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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