can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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