one two three fourrrrnication!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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