Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
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Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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