Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
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And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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