fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
