Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
