the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
