walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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