God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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