I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
