I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
