Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
