Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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