I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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