it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We left the knife in your bed.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
