so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
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The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
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I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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