im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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