the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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