I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
