What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
