remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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