Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
