The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
