okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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