She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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