do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
