the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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