The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
