I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
