So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
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New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just pee around me
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It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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