I heard we made out
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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