i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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