it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
