my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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