just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
