Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
