you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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