whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
