yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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