I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
